Lately I’ve developed this problem and I have no idea how to fix it. So basically, I’ve been so busy the past couple of weeks ever since Christmas break ended, I can’t even remember if there was a day when I slept more than 4/5 hours (except on weekends, of course, those are my recharge days).
The thing about me being busy is, I don’t mind that a lot. I mean I do, because well school sucks balls and forces me to write essays about feminism even though I’m sitting there like, who gives a shit? Let’s all skip the fact that I’m not a big fan of feminism, I think that it’s needed yes but a bit overrated right now. But that’s not important, so spare me the arguments in the comments, yes? It’s a controversial topic and if I happen to have a different opinion than you, accept it because believe it or not, everyone has their own opinion.
Alright, now back to my little problem. So you all know that I like to write because well, I love it and it kind of releases all the stress and feelings stuffed up in my ugly brain. But I haven’t had the time to write anything for the past few weeks and let me tell you, it nearly killed me. I’m not kidding.
Somewhere in those weeks I reached a point which all my fingers were bitten until they bled, my hair became thinner because I pulled on them so much and I looked like some zombie and I had bloodshot eyes. I felt like the Walking Dead, literally. So that was when I decided to drop everything (life issues, homework, social life, you name it) and I decided to write. So I took my laptop to my favorite spot in the house, opened a Word document, made myself a bowl of cereal (because who doesn’t love Froot Loops?), sat down and wrote.
Except… at that moment, right then and there, I couldn’t write anymore. Couldn’t, wouldn’t, didn’t. I mean…. what the fuck? I wanted to write so much that I kind of went insane and when I got the opportunity to do it, I just couldn’t. I had no inspiration at all. And no motivation either. The words just didn’t come out. Like someone who had selective mutism and I have selected ‘not-being-able-to-write’. I don’t know how to explain it.
You know what? I give up on life.
I don’t even know anymore.