Thoughts on my plans for the summer.

I am genuinely scared about the summer. As you all know, I shall be living with a host family in a country where I don’t speak the language of. I will be attending some summer school/program there to learn the language, and fyi it’s totally safe. Because it’s Europe, and not Iraq. I’m not even sure if they do these kinds of things in Iraq. Probably not.

(No offence tho, my readers from Iraq. I just really hate your country. Don’t take it personally, I hate most of all the countries in the Middle East. No, rewind, I think I do hate all of them. Too much war, too much heat and too many people. Not really my kind of thing.) This is my diary, I’m allowed to say whatever I want. (Except for the things that like, break the law or something) But I still feel kind of guilty saying that. Probably because I don’t really hate anything, not even Joffrey Fucking Lannister. He was kind of fun to watch, actually.

Moving on. I was talking about this host family. Did I tell you that I was scared of people? Well, now you know. All my friends tell me that I’m social. They say that I’m good with talking to people and stuff, which I think is pretty much bullshit. I’m not good at talking to people, I’m just good at talking. People just happen to listen because, I don’t know why they listen. But like, these people are my age, you know. Teenagers, young adults, whatever. But this host family, they’re 60. Fucking sixty. How the fuck am I supposed to talk to these people? I can’t even have a proper conversation with my grandparents and they are my freaking family, let alone strangers, who probably don’t even speak a word in English. Or one of the other two languages I happen to speak fluently.

Fuck this. Remind me to never do this again. You know, living in a foreign country, with a host family has been on my bucket list for as long as I can remember and now, when it finally comes to it. I’m too pussy and chicken out. But am I? Am I a pussy? What am I supposed to say to them? What if they give me sheep brains to eat, like in LOL.(How the hell did I manage to fit 2 Miley Cyrus references in one post?)  Do I have to carry the little useful sentences pocketbook around with me one full month?

Do I have issues? Ugh, who am I kidding, of course I do. I can already see myself in ten years, sitting on the soft sofa in my therapist’s office bullshitting about one of my ten thousand issues. Oh well, some things will always find its way back into the four walls surrounding this bitch here.

But, one great thing about this summer tho, is that I’ll get my kitten. Finally.

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2 thoughts on “Thoughts on my plans for the summer.

  1. I think you ain’t alone in that trap. These teen years often get you to chicken out of things you’ve always been crazy about. Well m a victim too. High5

    Liked by 1 person

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