That one time I went to the zoo.

You guys remember the time I went to the zoo. About a week ago? Possibly more. Well, I just thought I’d share a little bit with you guys. You know, since I promised to blog about everything “exciting” in my life.

So, the day started out pretty normally. Except the part when my dad woke me up at 10 o’clock instead of the sunlight on my eyes. He asked me if we should spend the day at the zoo. So I mumbled that he should ask mom, turned around and went back to sleep. Except, I couldn’t sleep anymore. So I dragged myself downstairs and ate my breakfast.

That’s when my mother told me we were going to the zoo. My old grumpy self, was definitely not in a good mood, (because who the fuck on this Earth is an actual morning person) naturally started to debate. “What the hell?” I said, “I thought we were going to discuss this.” She then replied, “it’s two against one.” And so the conversation kept going on like that. 30 minutes later, I decided to accept my fate and to suck it up.

Skipping all the nonsense talk and inappropriate sentences to fill the story, the first animal we saw were penguins. My mom almost jumped into the water with them, I’m not exaggerating. It was so embarrassing. Later, I found out that mom liked them the most of all the other animals. I just thought they were making a lot of noise. Moving on, as I tried to find the elephants, I managed to stumble in the tropical area. It was so hot and really like moist, damp, humid, no freaking idea which of these words I should use.

Anyway, I tried to breathe but it was nearly impossible. So I fought my way through the tropical jungle and found the nearest exit…. to the fucking desert. The hell did I know what it was. All I saw was a fucking tunnel, with behind a series of thick glasses, a whole bunch of bats. We ended up with a cactuses and I nearly died of sunstroke. You know, when your brains turn into mush, like when a potato gets heated in the sun for 24 hours. Than you practically cooked it.

So, the desert was hell. The ocean was, pretty cool. There was literally a tank that contained only fishes from Nemo XD That was awesome. But the coolest though, was the black one. The water tank was just, pitch black. But apparently there were fishes that gave light. How awesome is that? They were like headlights, only super small.

The best part of the day, however, was at the Safari. We were walking toward the zebra’s who lived along with the giraffes, there were about 20 of them. And the was a lady take pictures with them. I saw a lot of people taking pictures with animals, I mean, I get it. You don’t get to see them everyday, unless you live in Africa or something. But this lady, she was, let’s just say special. From top to bottom, she was in zebra print. Her hat was zebra printed, her t-shirt, her pants, her shoulder bag. Hell, even her flip flops. I saw her and I was just like, fucking hell. I didn’t know humans had reached this kind of insanity. Another reason why I never go out.

Anyway, duty calls. Ttyl.

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