That one time I went to the zoo.

You guys remember the time I went to the zoo. About a week ago? Possibly more. Well, I just thought I’d share a little bit with you guys. You know, since I promised to blog about everything “exciting” in my life.

So, the day started out pretty normally. Except the part when my dad woke me up at 10 o’clock instead of the sunlight on my eyes. He asked me if we should spend the day at the zoo. So I mumbled that he should ask mom, turned around and went back to sleep. Except, I couldn’t sleep anymore. So I dragged myself downstairs and ate my breakfast.

That’s when my mother told me we were going to the zoo. My old grumpy self, was definitely not in a good mood, (because who the fuck on this Earth is an actual morning person) naturally started to debate. “What the hell?” I said, “I thought we were going to discuss this.” She then replied, “it’s two against one.” And so the conversation kept going on like that. 30 minutes later, I decided to accept my fate and to suck it up.

Skipping all the nonsense talk and inappropriate sentences to fill the story, the first animal we saw were penguins. My mom almost jumped into the water with them, I’m not exaggerating. It was so embarrassing. Later, I found out that mom liked them the most of all the other animals. I just thought they were making a lot of noise. Moving on, as I tried to find the elephants, I managed to stumble in the tropical area. It was so hot and really like moist, damp, humid, no freaking idea which of these words I should use.

Anyway, I tried to breathe but it was nearly impossible. So I fought my way through the tropical jungle and found the nearest exit…. to the fucking desert. The hell did I know what it was. All I saw was a fucking tunnel, with behind a series of thick glasses, a whole bunch of bats. We ended up with a cactuses and I nearly died of sunstroke. You know, when your brains turn into mush, like when a potato gets heated in the sun for 24 hours. Than you practically cooked it.

So, the desert was hell. The ocean was, pretty cool. There was literally a tank that contained only fishes from Nemo XD That was awesome. But the coolest though, was the black one. The water tank was just, pitch black. But apparently there were fishes that gave light. How awesome is that? They were like headlights, only super small.

The best part of the day, however, was at the Safari. We were walking toward the zebra’s who lived along with the giraffes, there were about 20 of them. And the was a lady take pictures with them. I saw a lot of people taking pictures with animals, I mean, I get it. You don’t get to see them everyday, unless you live in Africa or something. But this lady, she was, let’s just say special. From top to bottom, she was in zebra print. Her hat was zebra printed, her t-shirt, her pants, her shoulder bag. Hell, even her flip flops. I saw her and I was just like, fucking hell. I didn’t know humans had reached this kind of insanity. Another reason why I never go out.

Anyway, duty calls. Ttyl.


The six legged black beetle bug.

This schedule thing is so much fun! Had I know that this was possible, had I not publish 18 posts in January and only 1 in March. Stupidity is really infinite. There is a big chance that you will read this on a Sunday, and that I’m writing this on a Monday. Technically Tuesday, because it’s already past midnight.

Oh my God. I am just back from another traumatic incident. Not that you guys can tell, since it’s not a vlog or anything. You know, the annoying thing about blogging is that I have to tell you guys things after it happened. It’d be so much more fun if it happened right away. Anyway, as I was writing my long ramble about the schedule feature on this blog, some freaking bug fell on my feet. No, it wasn’t a spider, if it was the whole neighborhood would be mad at me right now. No, I wasn’t wearing any socks because it’s like 80 degrees in my room, and for me that’s enough not to wear socks.

Since it wasn’t a spider, I didn’t scream. The thing fell of my feet the second it landed on it, and went for an adventure through my sheets. As I just on to the ground, pushed my laptop to the other side of my bed (which is the wall) and went looking for a cup. Not after staring at the thing for about 5 minutes, trying to figure out what it was while trying to keep my heart from exploding. I found a coffee cup (ice coffee caramel, Starbucks) that was 1 week old (yes, I definitely have to clean up my room) and tried to cup the bug with it.

Except, it ran. It freaking ran into my pile of clothes at the end of my bed, which were surprisingly, all dark colored. Since the thing was black, it was impossible to locate it. So I waited. I literally sat there, on the edge of my bed, looking the pile of clothes, waiting for it to come out. And it did, after about 15 minutes. Because I figured, that if it wasn’t a spider, I could take this thing. It was me against the six legged black beetle bug, and I was ready to make it my bitch. Except, it ran, again. Under my laptop this time!

So, naturally, I panicked, because my laptop is my precious and hallelujah, was I afraid that it might get in through the venting system. In the panic, I forgot that the beetle was a whole fucking lot bigger than the little dots my laptop uses to let out its steam. The dot was the size of this beetle’s freaking poopoo. As I said before, stupidity is infinite. So, I picked up my laptop, pushed it to the other side, causing this beetle to wanna play hide and seek.

You know, I actually really love hide and seek. Because as a kid, I always won. Since I was little, I figured out that it was not a game of who could run better. It was just a mix of patience and a good strategy. Mostly patience. Anyway, back to the story. Yeah, I don’t like hide and seek with bugs. Most definitely not, when they decide to hide in my favorite blouse. That was enough for me, to run downstairs, explain to my dad that the bug had six feet so it wasn’t scary and now I lost it. It took me 25 minutes to locate it, and my dad 1. Another second to squish it into mush. I am so grateful that there is no law against an attempted murder of a beetle bug.

My favorite blouse is on its way to the washing machine. So is the pile of black clothes. And a few socks on the floor. This post might be even more interesting than I intended it to be. I’m glad.

Gotta go now. Sleepy time~!

Thoughts on my plans for the summer.

I am genuinely scared about the summer. As you all know, I shall be living with a host family in a country where I don’t speak the language of. I will be attending some summer school/program there to learn the language, and fyi it’s totally safe. Because it’s Europe, and not Iraq. I’m not even sure if they do these kinds of things in Iraq. Probably not.

(No offence tho, my readers from Iraq. I just really hate your country. Don’t take it personally, I hate most of all the countries in the Middle East. No, rewind, I think I do hate all of them. Too much war, too much heat and too many people. Not really my kind of thing.) This is my diary, I’m allowed to say whatever I want. (Except for the things that like, break the law or something) But I still feel kind of guilty saying that. Probably because I don’t really hate anything, not even Joffrey Fucking Lannister. He was kind of fun to watch, actually.

Moving on. I was talking about this host family. Did I tell you that I was scared of people? Well, now you know. All my friends tell me that I’m social. They say that I’m good with talking to people and stuff, which I think is pretty much bullshit. I’m not good at talking to people, I’m just good at talking. People just happen to listen because, I don’t know why they listen. But like, these people are my age, you know. Teenagers, young adults, whatever. But this host family, they’re 60. Fucking sixty. How the fuck am I supposed to talk to these people? I can’t even have a proper conversation with my grandparents and they are my freaking family, let alone strangers, who probably don’t even speak a word in English. Or one of the other two languages I happen to speak fluently.

Fuck this. Remind me to never do this again. You know, living in a foreign country, with a host family has been on my bucket list for as long as I can remember and now, when it finally comes to it. I’m too pussy and chicken out. But am I? Am I a pussy? What am I supposed to say to them? What if they give me sheep brains to eat, like in LOL.(How the hell did I manage to fit 2 Miley Cyrus references in one post?)  Do I have to carry the little useful sentences pocketbook around with me one full month?

Do I have issues? Ugh, who am I kidding, of course I do. I can already see myself in ten years, sitting on the soft sofa in my therapist’s office bullshitting about one of my ten thousand issues. Oh well, some things will always find its way back into the four walls surrounding this bitch here.

But, one great thing about this summer tho, is that I’ll get my kitten. Finally.

The story of three quotes on my phone. Technically four.

Pfft. It took me half an hour to write each of the quote post. So I spent one hour for the past two quotes and now I’ll be writing this last one. I enjoyed this challenge more than I thought I would, tbh. Except for this last quote. I’ve spent half an hour looking for one, because the truth is, I only have 2 favorite quotes and well, I’ve already used them. So, I went for a walk. A walk of 2 hours in this extremely hot sun, and I earned 10 dollars. Yeah, I did my paper route. Whatever. I earned 10 dollars and now I smell like sweat.

So I turned to my good old phone for help. I had more tumblr quotes things in my Photos than I expected. So, I’m going to give you three of them. Because I can’t choose one.

“Life doesn’t stop for anybody” – Stephen Chbosky

Yes, you guessed it. The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Can you blame me? That book (& movie) was freaking awesome! This quote often encourages me to do the things I want. You know, take risks, change my life, move on, look at the future and not the past. Something like that. Pretty much says for it self. I love this quote 🙂

“I don’t feel anything. All monsters are human.” – Tate Langdon

American Horror Story. Technically, these are two quotes. But said by the same person so whatever. The first one pretty much says it all, from my second quote post. The other one, I just thought of while doing my paper route. I don’t wanna get all into this whole, I’m a people hater speech. The point is, I really don’t like people. They’re selfish, ungrateful and well, like Einstein said it, stupid. Because human stupidity is infinite.

And no, I am not a hypocrite, I would be one if I said that I’m the exception. That I’m not stupid or selfish. Because I am, I’m probably one of the worst from all the people I know. Because I’m human and humans are monsters. We are corrupt cops, frauds, thieves, robbers, killers, liars, terrorists. We lie to the people we love, we hurt the people we love, hell–we hate the people we love. You name it. But hey, there’s a thing called learning and evolving.

“Life if like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

– Forrest Gump

I chose this quote because this is my favorite movie of all time. And because it’s true, and because I love chocolate. You know, whenever the day sucks, this quote reminds me of all the miracles that might happen. That misery is not the only thing life serves us. Yeah, there may be a few dark chocolates in there, but also white ones. It gives me a reason to keep going, I guess.

So, thats it. The challenge. I really liked this one, thanks again for nominating me Quayla. ^_^

The story of, well, me.

Oh, Harvey. The great Harvey Specter. Needless to say, Suits is one of my favorite tv shows atm. One of his most famous quotes though, is “I don’t have dreams, I have goals.” I suppose this has a lot to do with my first quote. But it’s not the quote that I wanna use for this. There is another one that I love more. I think, even more than the Shonda Rhimes one.

I may have lied to you. This isn’t a story of me. If you wanted that story, you’d have to read a book the size of all the Game of Thrones books put together. Maybe even bigger. And even if you cared enough to read that, it’s impossible cuz it’s unwritten. This is the story of I see the world. I think it pretty much sums up my life’s motto? Or rule? I dunno, u tell me.

“If they know you care, they’ll walk all over you.” – Harvey Specter.

I strongly believe that this is true. I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it, and I understand why people do this. I’d do it, and I know people do it, I see people do it, even I’ve done it. So you know, over the years I’ve taught myself to be alone. To survive alone, to live alone, to do everything alone. You might say I’m paranoid, which I think I am. But that doesn’t make this quote any less true. And I’m not going to avoid it, I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t. And I’m done taking risks. I don’t want to live with regrets, and I don’t wanna die thinking I should have done something when I didn’t. But I’ll figure it all out when it happens.

It has come to a point that I stopped pretending I didn’t care. I, now, literally don’t care anymore. It takes more for someone to get me to care for them, I think. I feel like I’m some heartless bitch. People die, they get hurt, babies cry, little kids fall. And I. Don’t. Care. I see it, and I let it fly right by. No concern whatsoever. A part of me feels like I’ve achieved something great, it’s what I wanted all along, right? But another part of me feels guilty, because I don’t care about others getting hurt. Scared, because of the monster that I have become. I live on this Earth, but I don’t live here. I live somewhere else.

I don’t know how to explain it. I just, don’t feel anything anymore.